Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
