he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
