I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
