u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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