It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
