Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
