the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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