Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
