I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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