just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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