Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
tequila makes me forget i have legs
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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