the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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