i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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