don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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