I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
