Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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