Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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