soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
