I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
