also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
