You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
