Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
