now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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