im about as happy as oj after his trial
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
