these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
