Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My liver just had a heart attack.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
