He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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