youre lurking in front of me
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
