He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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