I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
