so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Congratulations! We have a period
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