i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
there was a trapeze. enough said
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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