I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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