id be glad to
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
