I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
