I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
