Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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