Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
