ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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