weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
