There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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