I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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