dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
