I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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