I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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