Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
