she woke up with a sticky ear
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
