so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
