Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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