Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
