I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
