Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Randomize
